Automactic Flush

Public toilets drive me crazy. The moment you walk into the cubicle you know you've made a huge mistake, but alas the call of nature can never be deterred. Gritting your teeth you wade though a carpet of toilet paper wondering why people are so messy only to find that its been used to wipe the foot prints from the toilet seat as you do likewise thinking at the same time how the hell anyone can anyone go in such an unnatural position.



Well its either that or some unthinking untrained son-of-a-bitch has decided to spray urine all over the place, I mean what is it with that. I can only put it down to the fact that some people have an incredibly small penis and it keeps slipping from their fingers.

Of course no sooner have you reluctantly sat down than the automatic flush kicks in spraying your arse with cold water before you've even had a chance to go, which of course totally destroys the moment. No choice but grin and bear it and of course sit absolutely still cause you know if you shift even slightly the damn thing is going to flush again.

Oh yeah, and always check there's enough toilet paper BEFORE you actually do anything. Annoying or what!

Zouk - Paul Van Dyk

Last nights Zouk guest DJ Paul Van Dyk totally sucked. He was suppose to be promoting his Inbetween album which is actually quiet good but lost the plot somewhere between touch down and reaching the club.


There were a couple of great moments but they were too few and far between and the last hour of his set was a disaster, even his mix of White Lies died a death, totally mangled. The premadonna, advertised to begin at midnight didn't even start the set on time. After the hype and build up it was a let down, and many people walked away unimpressed.

On top of that the management at Zouk need a few slaps as well. The club was way over crowded and their own people were absolutely crap at managing the crowd, a totally useless team of people who seemed to be more interested in looking pretty and waving flashlights rather than doing anything useful. I have to admit to feeling sorry for the crew in the orange t-shirts who had to fight their way through it all.

I'd love to know just exactly how many people were there and how many people Zouk are licensed to hold. Lets all pray for a police raid next time!

But last night sucked on many levels. The only time it picked up was when Paul Van Dyk actually stopped playing, after that it was what it should have been all night, a progressive trance shuffle heaven!