Rants and raves about stuff happening in and around my life in Singapore

Sunday, August 23, 2015

The Bush

9:03 AM By Barry Smyth , No comments

I was recently reminded, after a discussion with a friend of mine, of one of my pet hates and while it may be true I have been lucky enough not to encounter this situation in many years, I know many of you out there have not been as lucky and share this particular hate with probably as much passion, if not more in some cases.



So what am I talking about? 

I am talking about the bush. Of course I don’t mean the bush as in the wonderful green leafy variety, I mean the kind that springs out of peoples underwear and practically attacks you. I am not talking about pubic hair, lets be clear pubic hair has its place, but when it becomes so overgrown and unkempt it literally bursts out of someones underpants and attacks you it has reached a stage that is beyond acceptable.

No girl likes to find a bush on another girl, or a guy, or a guy on a guy or a guy on a girl. It’s just one of those unwritten rules that everyone should already be aware of …. keep it groomed. Keep it neat. Keep it trimmed and tidy. It is not under any preservation order, it is not a wildlife sanctuary (although in some case you have to wonder) and more importantly than all of that a bush is a complete turnoff.

No one want’s to pick hair from their teeth half way through the evening lets face it that is a total mood killer, and no one wants to pretend to be Moses parting the red sea looking for some hidden treasure. I mean seriously there is just no reason for having a bush to begin with unless you are trying to enter the Guinness Book of Records for one of the their more obscure titles in which case you should be warning people about it before they discover it for themselves. 

So, keep it groomed. Keep it short and neat. When someone rips off your underwear they should find the holy grail by default and not need to send out a search party. Shave it, wax it, trim it, get creative with different shapes (and or colours if that's your thing), whatever tickles your fancy or you think might tickles someone else. But lets be clear no-one likes a bush. 

Apart from whatever might be lurking there, do you know that the groin area is one of the sweatiest parts of the body. Just thinking about it I can feel my gag reflex kicking in. So as much as a well groomed pubic area is for aesthetic reasons, it is also a matter of personal hygiene. As much as someone may put their dislike of bush aside to enjoy the moment (well if you've gone that far you might as well continue) if they have to come up for air then they sure as hell won't be going down again. 

So if you fall into the un-groomed category of people let me just tell you up front that when it comes to that romantic moment there is a very high probability that you are going to totally gross your partner out because despite what you may think it really isn’t a pretty sight. In addition while you may have that fantastic one time experience you are killing your chances of having a repeat performance. Because lets face it the majority of people do not like bush, true there are people with fetishes but that's a different topic.

So, with that said, go to your local shop, buy that trimmer you have been thinking about and get grooming.




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