VPL - Visible Panty Lines

This one goes out to all the ladies out there who remain blissfully unaware of the VPL or visible panty line. Don't get me wrong on some women this phenomena can have much appeal to the wandering eye (obviously I'm not speaking for myself here), but more often than not the reverse it true. You see ....



.... if you have a fat arse then wearing tight fitting underwear with equally tight fighting trousers is a bad move. The net result is basically 4 butt cheeks wobbling in different directions which despite how good you feel about yourself is totally unattractive. Just don't do it. Wear a tong, or wear nothing at all. Don't constrain your voluptuous assets by a piece of material that is poorly designed to hold them.

Please have some pity for the people who stand behind you on the escalator, and help to make our mornings a little less frightening.

iPod Touch

I have at last managed to get the time to come back and update my blog and thought that I might as well do a quick write up on my beautiful, sleek and down right sexy iPod touch. And yes that's pictures of the springboard below.


Now I know what your thinking, your iPod Touch doesn't look like that at all. And that would be correct. You see as soon as I got it I couldn't resist hacking it, and after a couple of months of careful searching managed to do just that. It's currently been updated to firmware version 1.1.2 as well.

That may mean nothing to a lot of people so I'll translate that into english. Apart from using my touch for music/video, it also holds my collection of ebooks, and when I get really bored I can use it as Game Boy Advance and play any GBA game on it.

Of course i'll be updating to the iPhone when it arrives here in Singapore, and hopefully by then I'll be able to hack that and use skype and save a fortune on phone bills.

And in the meantime, I'm going sit back and enjoy my ipod Touch.

Ban Christmas Carols

Strolling though the supermarket today I was treated to the nerve jangling sound of the looped tape of Christmas jingles & carols. Now I'm all for setting the mood and the spirit of Christmas, but ...



... how fucking dated is the crap that's being played. I mean its the same old rubbish every year, year after year after annoying year. If I hear Jingle bells one more time I swear I'm going to slash my wrists. I'm thinking of taking all the music and writing parodies of the songs cause I'm so sick of them.

And here in Singapore its even worse. Songs about snow falling and sitting by the fire roasting chestnuts are as out of place as a nun in a whore house. Not only that its played at least 2 months before the actual date and even (insanely so) played as background music in restaurants.

It's blatant discrimination too. I mean we don't hear Indian music 2 months before Deepavali, or the strains of Chinese Opera for 2 months before the lunar new year, festivals that are of equal importance to the communities that celebrate them. Hell no, but come Christmas the looped tape of dated music is switched on everywhere.

I think that what we need is a world wide ban so we don't have to suffer it any more.

As for me its earplugs in and iPod turned on from now on.

Singapore Radio Sucks

Over the last few nights I've been way too tired to remember to bring my iPod to bed and ended up trying to fall asleep while listening to the Radio instead. Huge Mistake!



Generally the choice of music is pretty good on most stations in Singapore but the problem is there's just not enough of it. I mean who the hell actually believes that an add on radio works, and how stupid are they. Radio adverts are just annoying and give people an excuse to change channel.

And what about the DJ's who like to talk between songs. For God's sake shut the fuck up already. Without exception they are boring,uninteresting and talk rubbish 99% of the time. By all means tell me what tracks are coming up but that's all I need to know. Please feel free to use the microphone to pleasure yourself afterwards if you want ..... just turn it off already.

And its even worse when there's more than one DJ as they just spend time trying to outdo each other and the music ends up getting a second seat. The number of times I've switched off my radio in frustration is unreal.

Radio, its just a poor substitute for real music, and in Singapore doubly so.

Now, where the hell did I leave my iPod!

Section 377A

In a recent interview with respect to the Singapore Governments stand on section 377A, a section aimed solely at criminalizing homosexuality, the prime minister Lee Hsien Loong was quoted as saying ... "Our view, as a government is, we will go with society. We will not push forward as society's views shift. We just follow along. As of today, my judgement is: the society is comfortable with our position. Leave the clause (alone). What people do in private is their own business; in public, certain norms apply."


You have to admire the man's stupidity, as if by changing section 377A it implies that guys are going to start humping each other on the streets of Singapore, or that by implication the government or the man himself is even remotely aware of what society wants.

When a government openly and publicly discriminates against a minority section of its own people you have to wonder what message it is actual sending. To me the law has always been about what is right and fair, and changing it when it is obvious that it needs to be changed regardless of public opinion.

A government should lead its people, not follow along like some pet on a leash.

Heel boy, heel!

The Trillium

The Trillium, a development that I am predicting will be plagued by problems all because of the fully sold sign below.


When I first saw the Trillium being launched I thought great, lets go take a look, and then promptly walked away because the asking price was ridiculous. Then a little later I saw the fully sold sign and did a double take, I mean who knew people could be that stupid as to thank God for profiting from material wealth. I mean I'm not religious but even I'm not stupid enough to smack God in the face so publicly.

The more I saw the sign the more annoying it became because its clear that the idiot responsible has no concept or appreciation for the spiritual side of life. Thanking God for turning a profit is totally tasteless, lets all stand on the steps and shout loudly people. Even Christian friends I showed this picture to were disgusted.

So I'm predicting all sorts of problems for this development as a result. Let's watch it together shall we.

Automactic Flush

Public toilets drive me crazy. The moment you walk into the cubicle you know you've made a huge mistake, but alas the call of nature can never be deterred. Gritting your teeth you wade though a carpet of toilet paper wondering why people are so messy only to find that its been used to wipe the foot prints from the toilet seat as you do likewise thinking at the same time how the hell anyone can anyone go in such an unnatural position.



Well its either that or some unthinking untrained son-of-a-bitch has decided to spray urine all over the place, I mean what is it with that. I can only put it down to the fact that some people have an incredibly small penis and it keeps slipping from their fingers.

Of course no sooner have you reluctantly sat down than the automatic flush kicks in spraying your arse with cold water before you've even had a chance to go, which of course totally destroys the moment. No choice but grin and bear it and of course sit absolutely still cause you know if you shift even slightly the damn thing is going to flush again.

Oh yeah, and always check there's enough toilet paper BEFORE you actually do anything. Annoying or what!

Zouk - Paul Van Dyk

Last nights Zouk guest DJ Paul Van Dyk totally sucked. He was suppose to be promoting his Inbetween album which is actually quiet good but lost the plot somewhere between touch down and reaching the club.


There were a couple of great moments but they were too few and far between and the last hour of his set was a disaster, even his mix of White Lies died a death, totally mangled. The premadonna, advertised to begin at midnight didn't even start the set on time. After the hype and build up it was a let down, and many people walked away unimpressed.

On top of that the management at Zouk need a few slaps as well. The club was way over crowded and their own people were absolutely crap at managing the crowd, a totally useless team of people who seemed to be more interested in looking pretty and waving flashlights rather than doing anything useful. I have to admit to feeling sorry for the crew in the orange t-shirts who had to fight their way through it all.

I'd love to know just exactly how many people were there and how many people Zouk are licensed to hold. Lets all pray for a police raid next time!

But last night sucked on many levels. The only time it picked up was when Paul Van Dyk actually stopped playing, after that it was what it should have been all night, a progressive trance shuffle heaven!

The Great Singapore Ripoff

I've always been amazed at the hotels in Singapore, not only are they well kept and staffed, friendly and quite frankly ahead of anything the west has to offer, but I've always been under the impression that they are priced quite reasonably. In fact its one of the reasons that people travel to Singapore because its so affordable. Well, mostly true, you see ....


The problem with Singapore hotels is that although the set their prices at the start of the year for the year, if anything happens such as a convention then prices soar out of all proportion. With the inflated prices I'm surprised anyone bothers. Two times, three times the normal rate are not unheard off.

I'm surprised the government, big brother that it can be, hasn't stepped in and put some sort of a cap on price hikes. I mean these hikes have got to be damaging the tourist industry. It's blatant profiteering, in fact I'd almost go as far as to say its nothing short of theft. And while corporate pockets may be big they are not forgiving. And what about the poor tourist who comes at the wrong time, they are the ones that really suffer along with Singapore's reputation as a relatively inexpensive holiday destination.

Personally I think that once a hotel has set and published its rates for the year, that a cap of x% is imposed during any 3 month period. That way they can't just change it to what they want to charge any time they choose. The x% needs to be fair so that they can make a decent profit, I'm not a total dictator.

But seriously, it is soon going to become a deciding factor when companies hold events here and if it continues as is then tourism will dip and sooner rather than later the fat corporate wallet will become a thing of legend.

MRT Blues

After being totally let down by Singapore's taxi service which is the subject of a couple of rants already, I've been waking up that little bit earlier and after my early morning run (mentioned purely because of how torturous it is) I walk the 15 minutes to the MRT station listening to my iPod all the way. Needless to say by the time I get to the station I'm in a great mood which is just as well because it ....



.... all starts going wrong on the escalator down to the station.

There's always some complete and utter twat who insists on standing on the right even though the signs ask people to stand on the left. So those of us who like to walk down the bloody thing are trapped before we've even started the journey. I mean how stupid do people have to be to understand that they are in the way and move their sorry arse to the left.

Next thing to deal with is waiting at the doors of the train. There's always some plonker who arrives at the very last second as the train arrives and pushes their way by you to get on to the train even though you've been standing there patiently for the last 4 minutes for the damn thing to arrive, and take note so far women are the worst offenders.

So now you're on a packed train squeezed up against the doors even through there would be enough room if only people would move down the damn carriage. On the left you're fighting with the idiot who insists on using what little space there is around you to read the morning paper, to the right is the other idiot who leans against the bar so that those around him have nothing to hold on to. If front of you is the women who keeps adjusting her shoulder bag and smacking you in the nuts with it at every opportunity, while behind you is the person who can't spell deodorant. And then the doors open at the next station, and yes even though you couldn't squeeze a knat's arse in there is always one bastard who shoves their way on stepping on your feet in the process. If the fucker was blind deaf and dumb there'd be some excuse.

And then you arrive at your station and its as though the train having swallowed up all these people finds them not to its taste (understandable in some cases) and vomits them all out. Naturally you are now in the way of this stampede and either go with the flow or get trampled on.

So how was your Monday!

Straining It

Ok, a question to the masses. Why is it in a public toilet that you always end up in the cubicle next to the guy who's making the type of sounds that leave you to assume he's about to either crap a cannon ball, or explode?



I mean what is it with that? All that grunting and groaning and other sounds that for the life of me I haven't a clue how to type. It's as though there is an inbuilt need to announce to everyone in the immediate area that they're taking a dump, some sort of macho crapping ritual that I just don't get.

And lets not talk about the idiots who insist on having a conversation on their mobile phone at the same time. Not bad enough that everyone else has to listen but they call a friend as well.

Seriously one of these days I'm just not going to be able to restrain myself and burst into applause.

Singapore Waterspout

It has to be one of the most interesting sights to have been seen in Singapore recently, and one that had nearly everyone in our office where this picture was taken from with their faces pressed against the window to get a better look.


Waterspouts are not that rare, but seeing one so close and to have such an excellent view of it during an otherwise hot sunny day was fantastic. It really does make you take a step back when you see the power of mother nature if action.

Well .... it kept us entertained for a full 10 minutes!